Ultimate Chase

Saw this fella' on 20/20... I wish I had the courage to do what he does.

Those Terrible Movies...

I really have got to stop watching those chick-flicks. They leave me in an I-have-to-be-in-a-relationship funk. It's pretty sad that a simple movie can produce those kind of thoughts... but the enemy sure does use "simple" routes to accomplish his goal.

The last thing he wants is for us to be obedient, faithful... and content.

Father, can I say that Your grace is sufficient? According to Your grace, help me to be a steadfast servant. I want Your word to be my source of satisfaction and my passion. I need Your help, and Your mercy... You alone can satisfy. Remind me of that in my constant moments of weakness.

One Pic A Day

Well... he has captivated me with his hobby. Apparently, he's been taking one picture a day since 1989. I'm intrigued, and taken by these photographs. They all tell a story, that for some reason, my wandering mind wants to know of.

Oh, how I do appreciate those with a passion for photography. It seems that they understand something the rest of the world does not... a moment in time can, in fact, be revisited.

On a different note, it's a sleepy day. I awoke this morning with mighty ambitions, and now I sit here... half asleep... wishing that the house would clean itself. Oh the glories of winter. I feel like I could escape into hibernation at any moment.... but... for now, the dishes call and the laundry beckons. Good day, all.

Just Chillin'

Well... I'm sitting here on the couch, computer in my lap, and listening to Magic by Colbie Caillat. It's been a pretty peaceful day, thus far. After waking up to the smell of eggs, and maple syrup... I cleaned the kitchen, did 2 loads of laundry, read (Habakkuk was very cool today...) and planned errands for later.

I've been thinking all day today about the body of believers that the Lord has placed me in. It's awesome to look back at what we were 10 years ago, and what we are now. The people that the Lord has put in my life are absolutely amazing. He's given me this group of friends, and these are some of the most incredible people I've ever known: Matt and Laura, Rich and Lauren, Weston and Cassandra, Sean and Heather, Jon and Emily, Scott and Christin, Matt K., and Darwin and Arlena. These are my best friends... the saints... my true family... the people I love more than life. They're so real... so genuine... they love the Father, and His word, and they love each other. I've truly been blessed beyond what I could ever deserve.

Discipleship

So, check this out y'all. God's word is absolutely amazing. I was struggling this morning with some verses, and asked the Lord for some understanding. I'll tell you... the continuity of the word, and how it all fits together is so, so cool. He definitely gave me some understanding, but in a way, and in a section of Scripture that I didn't expect. This post will make more sense to JWFers, by the way. :)
This is all from yesterdays Daily in the Word. (catchin' up today :)) Here goes:

" You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give it to you." Jn. 15:16

This verse is right in the middle of the "love one another" passage. Discipleship is such a testament to loving the brethren... it's laying down your life for another- it's investing time, and energy to encourage someone and move them toward their "highest good" which is a more intimate relationship with Christ! So... discipleship is love lived out... and in Sunday school a couple of weeks ago, Tom (one of our pastors) was talking about truth and how love is truth lived out. All in all, discipleship is a clear manifestation of truth. Pretty cool, huh? Maybe this is what Paul is talking about when he says how it brings him joy to find those "walking in the truth". (2 Jn. 1:4)

So, on a different note, the Lord talks about fruit that remains. This fruit is discipleship. (I pray I'm right here... JWFers, correct me if I'm wrong! :)) This is why Jesus says that we are chosen... to bear fruit that remains. So cool. :) Well, whats even cooler (is that a word?) is what follows this passage in Daily in the Word: Revelation 3:1-13. Christ is talking to the church in Sardis, and He says:
"I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die; for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of My God. Remember therefore what you have received and heard; and keep it, and repent. If therefore you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you. But you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their garments; and they will walk with Me in white; for they are worthy." Revelation 3:1b-4
That's what He just talked about in John! Fruit that remains! Christ recognized that these people were saved, but their works were dead, polluted (perhaps 'garments polluted by the flesh'? Jude 23), and incomplete (imperfect, immature... opposite of complete Col. 1:28). Some of them were not strengthening the things that remain, but were reverting back to grave clothes. But... there were a few who had not "soiled their garments", and were considered worthy (vs. 4, ref. to Eph. 4:1, Col. 1:10, and 1 Thess. 2:12). I pray that our body at JWF continues to embrace the ministry of discipleship, and press on with works that are undefiled, and worthy. Let's strengthen the things that remain!!!!

My Camera and I Part 2

My Camera and I

My Next Hair-do.... or not

(Disclaimer: I didn't take this pic!)

Time with the Girls

This picture was taken in the beginning of the summer... I spent some time with 4 of our youth girls (one's not pictured) creek stomping, swimming in uncomfortably cold water, and taking crazy cool pictures. Definitely one of the best days ever... :)

Funny Stuff...

This guy makes me smile. :) I found him randomly on YouTube, and now am a fan of his very... interesting, self-made movies.

Here's another one for your personal viewing pleasure... one part is a little... well.. violating, but I'm sure you'll get over it.

Camera Happy

Watch Me Unfold...

So... this girl's been single for 21 years and counting. No dating... no physical contact (romantically speaking) with a guy... ever. I've held to the "I'm not dating because I'm waiting" standard for so long, and shunned every chance at a relationship. Lately, I've been questioning my reasoning for this. I seem to be drawing a blank. Please, don't get me wrong... I am quite far away from conforming to the practice of "recreational dating", or even dating to begin with. I am fully convinced that courting is the way to go.

The word of God says that we are to be "above reproach", and that we are not to give the appearance of sin. Clearly, it is not acceptable to be alone with a guy in a situation that would lead him or I to sin either in thought or deed. However... does that ban me from holding relationships with the opposite sex, getting to know them on a personal level, and learning to be comfortable around them? No!

I've held up a wall between myself and men anywhere near my age. I believe that there are three reasons for this...

1. Flat out legalism.
   It sure sounds good to say that I'm remaining physically and emotionally pure first for the Lord's sake, and secondly for the sake of the one that He could potentially bring into my life. However, what does all that mean unless it is with a purpose? Was it only to sound higher and holier than my peers? Was it a desperate attempt to be different? Different for what/whom? The Lord, or myself?
   
   
2. Inability to appeal.
   Maybe I'm just afraid to admit that I don't appeal to the opposite sex. I don't really fit into those desired parameters. I haven't had to deny many askers... and It's much simpler to say, "I don't date" than to tell the truth about the situation.
   
   
3. Fear of Exposure
   To be in a relationship, you must be open. To be open requires one to be vulnerable, and it terrifies me to think of someone seeing who I really am. Maybe I won't be what they want. Will I change just to fit who they think I am, or who they think I should be? Will my imperfections drive them away? Will they understand my clumsy speech, and racing thoughts? Possibly not... and it's hard to imagine revealing myself to that extent. I want to be known... I really do. No lies in that statement.
   
   
   

This is the first time I've been completely honest about all of this. I don't know what else to do at this point. There comes a time for a person to face maturity, and for me that means that I must leave behind false realities and live in an honest way. I've decided to unfold... to become honestly and genuinely open. I love the people that the Lord has placed in my life but yet, I push them away with such force sometimes. I've pushed so much, and it seems as though I've backed myself into a corner.

"What I can remember
is a lot like water
trickling down a page
of the most beautiful colors
I can't quite put my
finger down on the moment
that I became like ... this

you see, I'm the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
and yet I shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone
really seeing me
I think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds

but I don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my
imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word I say comes stumbling
i will bare it all
watch me unfold
unfold

These hands that I hold
behind my back are
bound and broken by my own doing
and I can't feel
anything, anymore
I need a touch to remind me
I'm still real..

my soul
It's dying to be free
I can't live the rest of my life
so guarded
it's up to me to choose..
what kind of life I lead.

cause I don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my
imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word I say comes stumbling
I will bare it all
watch me unfold
unfold

I will allow someone to love me
I will allow someone to love me"
Unfold by Marie Digby

Emotionally Driven

It seems that each moment this week has been a battle to not let my "desperately wicked" heart and fleeting emotions govern my time. I hate it that I'm so driven by emotions, but I can't escape the flesh that I still dwell in. I can only ask that my Lord would grant me access to the heavenly realm of thought, and "away-time" from this wicked body of death.

What a morbid start to what was supposed to be a happy entry... sorry, folks.

On a different note... today, I experienced the smell of comfort. Goodness... I'm starting to sound New Age. Trust me, that could not be further away from my religious classification. Anyway- I walked into the elevator at school and for some reason, it smelled like peppermint with a hint of soft musk. Perhaps the person adjacent to me was chewing some sort of gum, and was wearing musk-y perfume or something... but together, the smells reminded me of an earlier time. I can't say when exactly, but it was a pleasant smell from someplace familiar. Who ever knew that something that simple could provide a calming effect?

Well, I must go. Hopefully, I'll be back on here later reiterating the happenings of the day. For now, adieu.

Who dares go there?

I wonder how often my eyes scream, "PLEASE, know me...". After all, isn't that what we all want? I simply desire a tangible representation that I am fully known, yet still accepted. How I would love to be vulnerable to the point of real, depth-of-soul trust. The Lord knows me better than I could ever even know myself, but I long for the knowledge that another knows those deep, hidden parts of me, yet still looks in my eyes and sees a beautiful future of imperfection.

Tell me... does that one exist? Is there one willing to look past the superficial exterior and love what is buried beneath the surface?

Father, You know the depth of my longing. Teach me to patiently wait for what only You can see. I see that which is unattainable and I cry out to simply grasp that which I know I can not hold onto... only for a moment of satisfaction.

Reckless, rhetorical rhetoric...

Ever had one of those moments where you think, 'Geesh... I really should write this in my blog."? I have quite the time entertaining those thoughts. My brain seems to be filled with instances of blog-worthy material, but when I sit down at the anxiously awaiting computer, my thoughts turn to mush, and I lose the drive to write anything down. Why is it that this happens?
So, hopefully soon, "Defining Grace" will define a new type of blog. I'm not seeking to be a revolutionary with this, but I'd like to provide viewers with something to suit their boredom. I'd eventually like to fill these pages with pictures, music videos, and such.
As for now, hopeful friends, I must say goodnight. My new fleece blanket beckons...

I can't help but say....

Wrote a post... decided that it needed to be deleted... deleted it.