Friday, January 18, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Afraid to Live
There's a few moments I'll never forget within the past 21 years. They're the few moments where I truly lived... and experienced things that were amazing.
...a 2 hour walk, and great conversation at Taylor University when I was 17...
...singing with a congregation of about 2000 at New Phile...
...boating at Lake St. Mary's with my mom...
...a genuine talk at Taffy's...
...laughing for almost 4 hours straight, while catching up with a friend recently...
...four wheeling side by side to 6 deer in the field...
...white water rafting in the pouring rain...
...standing beneath the clearest field of stars that I've ever seen my senior year in Tennessee...
...creek stomping two summers ago...
...every Friday night get together with the "crew"...
...a long, solitary walk along the beach at 1:30am...
All in all, these moments have been so special, but infrequent. The truth is that I really do want to live. This is an unexplainable process of thoughts, but these thoughts have been clouding my brain for the last... well... year. The experiences I've had thus far have given me a taste of something wonderful that I just can not seem to grasp. How I long to jump outside of the ordinary... but something is holding me back, and that something has the tendency at times to break my spirit. I'm not too young to live, but I feel as though I've spent so many years just waiting around for the extraordinary to come along. Were these years wasted? No, but perhaps they could have been better spent.
At times, I wish someone without inhibitions would come, take my hand and lead me to a place of freedom. I don't fear tomorrow because of what may happen... I fear tomorrow because of what I might miss.
I desperately want to break away from the mundane, but have not been able to do so. Quite possibly, I'm afraid to live. There's uncertainty in that... in leaving the comfortable parameters that I've set for myself. Yet... somehow, I'm sure that once I step outside of these boundaries, it will be more rewarding than I could have ever dreamed.
With all these emerging thoughts, I don't know how to act... I don't know what to pray for... and I'm not sure what to do. I need help, but as I said earlier, there are no words to describe that which I am so immensely longing for.
...a 2 hour walk, and great conversation at Taylor University when I was 17...
...singing with a congregation of about 2000 at New Phile...
...boating at Lake St. Mary's with my mom...
...a genuine talk at Taffy's...
...laughing for almost 4 hours straight, while catching up with a friend recently...
...four wheeling side by side to 6 deer in the field...
...white water rafting in the pouring rain...
...standing beneath the clearest field of stars that I've ever seen my senior year in Tennessee...
...creek stomping two summers ago...
...every Friday night get together with the "crew"...
...a long, solitary walk along the beach at 1:30am...
All in all, these moments have been so special, but infrequent. The truth is that I really do want to live. This is an unexplainable process of thoughts, but these thoughts have been clouding my brain for the last... well... year. The experiences I've had thus far have given me a taste of something wonderful that I just can not seem to grasp. How I long to jump outside of the ordinary... but something is holding me back, and that something has the tendency at times to break my spirit. I'm not too young to live, but I feel as though I've spent so many years just waiting around for the extraordinary to come along. Were these years wasted? No, but perhaps they could have been better spent.
At times, I wish someone without inhibitions would come, take my hand and lead me to a place of freedom. I don't fear tomorrow because of what may happen... I fear tomorrow because of what I might miss.
I desperately want to break away from the mundane, but have not been able to do so. Quite possibly, I'm afraid to live. There's uncertainty in that... in leaving the comfortable parameters that I've set for myself. Yet... somehow, I'm sure that once I step outside of these boundaries, it will be more rewarding than I could have ever dreamed.
With all these emerging thoughts, I don't know how to act... I don't know what to pray for... and I'm not sure what to do. I need help, but as I said earlier, there are no words to describe that which I am so immensely longing for.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
His Artistry, My Delight
This was the sunrise a few days ago. This is the amazing thing... these colors are true. I didn't edit or "doctor" it up. Wow... what a picture to wake up to!!!!Friday, January 11, 2008
Oh Baby!
Baby Joshua, you are not even a day old but we already love you so much, and we're all praying for you.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Keep in Prayer...
"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth, Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!" Psalm 8:1
JWFers... Amy D. is in the hospital while I'm writing this. Her water broke this morning... please, please keep her in prayer. She still has about 2 and a half months to go in her pregnancy.
Father... keep this baby's life in Your hands. You are sovereign... You are majestic and just... but You are also merciful. Please have mercy on Amy and Scott.
JWFers... Amy D. is in the hospital while I'm writing this. Her water broke this morning... please, please keep her in prayer. She still has about 2 and a half months to go in her pregnancy.
Father... keep this baby's life in Your hands. You are sovereign... You are majestic and just... but You are also merciful. Please have mercy on Amy and Scott.
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